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about
‘This song was written at a very vulnerable time of my life. I was travelling in Los Angeles at the time and I found out that my nan, who was back in the UK, had just been diagnosed with skin cancer. I didn’t know the severity of the situation (and thankfully today she has the all clear) yet, at the time it was scary and I was missing home a lot! I was also suffering with a flare of a chronic health condition called ‘Ulcerative Colitis’ whilst still trying to tirelessly create music, go to events and keep up a positive demeanour to everyone around me. I was exhausted and burnt out!
As I was humming the melodies to the instrumental, I started to sob and mutter the words ‘I’ve been in a dark place’. I wanted to express all of this emotion in a song but I was scared that it may sound too sad and have a negative impact on those who listened to it.
My good friend and also the co-writer of the song, Tyran Brown, explained that it is okay to be vulnerable and honest in my music because it will touch those who are going through something similar.
Now 12 months later, at a time when I am happy and healthy, this song is a representation of the fact that dark times happen to all of us and that they do not last forever!
Hopefully this song also releases some of the stigma around talking about Mental Health, because once we talk about it, we can stop feeling ashamed and alone and hiding in the dark.
As the release of the song falls within Mental Health Week, I have written the Samaritans phone number, on the artwork, which is a 24/7 UK helpline for suicide prevention and emotional support, in case anyone might be going through a tough time and need someone to talk to.’
lyrics
LYRICS:
Can't take another broken promise
Shattered pieces where my heart is
I'm over being disregarded
I just wanna go back to bed
Can't wrap my head
Try to sleep away
There shades of grey
Can't face the world
Nothing to say - I can feel the weight on my shoulders pull me under
I just wanna wake up instead
No tears to shed
Dry out the rain
Start a new day - But I gotta carry it one way or another
I don't wanna work hard all my life
Just to put my own needs to the side
How much of myself do I sacrifice
Am I living just to die
Cuz I've been in a dark, dark place
I've been in a lonely space
Trying to hold on to faith
No one here to ease my pain
To tell me it will be okay
I don't know how much I can take of it
I'm sick and tired of constantly strugglin
All of this time, is it all for nothing
Giving everything but I need something in return
I'm done with being brokenhearted
Disappointment got me guarded
I'm tryna grow from where I started
But it's the hardest
Cuz on a day like today
I can't turn the page
I pray for a change
Like, God keep me safe
Cuz who's gonna save me
I'm going crazy - I can feel the weight on my shoulders pull me under
And I feel like the world's tryna break me
It's working lately
My hope is fading
I can't escape it
It's so heavy, it's so heavy, oh - But I gotta carry it one way or another
I don't wanna work hard all my life
Just to put my own needs to the side
How much of myself do I sacrifice
Am I living just to die
Cuz I've been in a dark, dark place
I've been in a lonely space
Trying to hold on to faith
No one here to ease my pain
To tell me it will be okay
I don't know how much I can take of it
I'm sick and tired of constantly strugglin
All of this time, is it all for nothing
Giving everything but I need something in return
Tryna find my purpose but i'm running out of time
Wonder if it's worth it
Will I ever have what's mine
Standing on my last legs
Here for the fight
But I gotta fight
Cuz I need something in return.
credits
released May 19, 2020
Written and sang by Bekki Hlava
Co-written by Terrence Brown
Produced by Cory Barker
Co-produced by Gabe Kubanda
International vocalist and songwriter Bekki Hlava is not just a small town girl.
Growing up in a
village in Newcastle Under Lyme, UK, she has travelled and collaborated globally with musicians from London to France, all the way to Los Angeles, USA.
With influences such as Tracy Chapman and Lauren Hill, no wonder Bekki's RnB/Soulful melodies and lyrics leave you feeling calm and reflective....more
This project from the South London R&B singer features sleek vocals and erratic beats that represent changing seasons and winter's start. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 20, 2019
Gently dipped in R&B and shaded with subtle electronic twists, this Melbourne 4-piece make soulful, joyful, folksy pop. Bandcamp New & Notable Sep 27, 2014
